Saturday, February 20, 2010

Buckets of Rain

All I wanted today was to go to yoga class. That's all. To have from 9 a.m. until 10:30 a.m. just for me, my body, and my mental health.

That didn't happen because I woke up at 5 a.m. with a head cold and found Scott awake. He had to wake up at 3 a.m. and handle some work problem and then couldn't get back to sleep. So, we talked until about 6:30 or 7 a.m. and then both tried to go back to sleep. Both boys came in our room fighting around 8 or so, but I couldn't roust myself. When I finally got up at 8:30 a.m., I came downstairs to find my living room covered in Rice-fuckin'-Krispies where Beckett brought the box in the living room and dumped them out. Then, Brendan, from the moment I woke up was pestering me to help him find one of his Ben 10 characters, charge his DS, correct his brother for whatever it is he's doing wrong, use my computer, get him a snack (while I'm making his breakfast). And all the while, he's pestering me, his little brother is in the background, jabbering. Constantly. Not a moment of fucking silence.

I love my family.

But right now....all I want is to go to yoga class.


ViolinMama said...

I. Hear. You.

Goodness....and if you want to add coffee or alcohol with a friend to your "need yoga as an escape" list...let me know. I'm your girl!!

Dawn said...

Of course, after I have my cathartic experience of writing something like this, I feel horrible about it. I think of all the women who long to hear little voices jabbering in the backgrounds of their day but can't have them or those who have lost children and would give anything to hear them.

I really do love my boys, but some days I guess I fail to manage my stress as well and I just can't handle the noise. And I have yet to find an effective way to communicate to them that I want quiet without yelling and then it only lasts until the shock of me yelling at them wears off.

Kel said...

Oh honey, I so feel your pain. But remember one day this will all be over and you will miss it. (ok, maybe not miss it, but look back and laugh at the insanity of it all)

Hang in there!

Shari said...

Your tag says mommy guilt, but I think you should change it to mental health. You need a break to keep yourself healthy and sane. There's not guilt in that, only the realization that you need a break once in a while.