Saturday, September 6, 2008

Let's Get It Started

Well, hey, y'all.

Wait. Are those crickets I hear? Am I all alone here after abandoning my post lo these many days, nay weeks?

I just haven't been able to get it together to write. I feel mentally fatigued. Lost. Wondering why I write and if I actually have anything of value to say. I was thinking about just walking away.

However, A. has a post on her blog that hit very close to home for me. I feel like I've been treading water in a sea of stress and dismay related to behavior problems (Brendan's and my own) and my inability to balance my part-time job, my duties as a wife and mother, and my desire to have a life that isn't solely consumed by cooking, cleaning, and child rearing. At least this blog gives me an outlet and keeps me connected with like minds – shoot, better minds! – and allows me space to figure out my purpose in this world.

Anyway, despite wondering how I can balance my need and desire to write and remain relatively honest with myself and you all with an apparently growing need not to offend or upset anyone else, I've decided to give this another go. I've thought about taking the blog private so that you'd have to register to read it, but that just seems too depressing. I might then find that no one actually gives a damn. I don't really want to do either of those things... Force readers to register or find out what a pathetic loser I am.

Or I could suck it up and be me, whoever that is.

So, I thought I'd start with a layout change. Unfortunately, I screwed up saving some of my links. If I've left you off my blogroll, please forgive me. I added the blogs whose urls I knew off the top of my head. If yours isn't there, it's because I'm going to need to find the url and add you. It's not that I don't love you to pieces!

Alright. Here we go. Again.

'Night, Y'all.


rennratt said...

I like the new look!

I'm also glad that you didn't give up and walk away. Not without telling us, that is.

A. said...

I'm glad you are still out here in the blogosphere. I like the teal-ish color.

Kel said...

Welcome back. We all get to that point and wonder about what we are doing out here, so don't worry...we're still out here and we'll be here when your ready to return!

Hope you have a wonderful week!

Suz said...

who cares if you offend someone? it's your blog, own it, mama!

love ya!

Anonymous said...

I really love the new look!

Sarah B said...

Forever a self-editor, I'll distill my message: Keep writing you're good at it - true friends will not be mortally offended by what you say - screw those who are - if you're still stressing out then at least start an anonymous blog (maybe letting some of your current readers know), you deserve the creative/emotional outlet

Wendy said...

I like the layout. It's purdy.

A.'s post was powerful (though she needs to enlarge her font - I feel like I need glasses after reading it), and it speaks volumes to women who feel a disconnect between the fantasy of motherhood that is propagated by the media and the real-life experience that we actually go through, which can be messy and frustrating and exhausting.

All I can say is, take a breath. Write if it makes you happy or makes you feel fulfilled, but don't if it doesn't. You don't owe any of us anything, and you don't have to apologize for how you feel.

big hugs to you!!