Sunday, January 6, 2008

I Can't Get My Head Around It

I want to be a good Catholic and leave all judgment up to God, to believe in my heart that the death penalty is wrong. But then, I hear a story like this one, about a girl just going about her life, doing something she loved, and not bothering anyone, who gets murdered by some low-life creep and it all goes out the window.

I don't know why this story hits so close to home with me. I guess it's a case of there but for the grace of God... I was never an avid hiker, but when I was this girl's age, I certainly went hiking alone, without even a dog, on portions of the Appalachian Trail and had fantasies of hiking the whole thing some day. I never gave a second thought to the safety of it. I never told anyone where I'd be either. I just went and got a room at a state park lodge and went hiking, just to be alone in nature and clear my head. It never occurred to me that some random creep could be out there on the trails, waiting to murder someone. And I'm sure it never occurred to Meredith either. Why would it? Why would any of us think there's another human out there wishing to do us harm? We shouldn't have to think that way.

Of course, I think our society might be more violent now than it was 12 or 13 years ago with less respect for life or other people generally. I often think we're in our decline as a culture and society, but then I start freaking out and can't let myself go there. I worry too much about what this world will be like when my children are grown. It's just too overwhelming sometimes.

I feel awful for Meredith's poor family. And I just can't get my head around why this creep would have to murder her. But in my heart I can't make myself find any reason why he should get to live – even in prison – when he so readily took this poor girl's life.


Hula Doula said...

I completely understand. Last year in January or Feb...I can't remember the exact date but I had an incident with 5 wonderful boys. If you ever want to read about it it is under "Stories that move me" on my side bar. These precious 5 were put in my life for a reason. Their mother was abusive and cruel and as a result one of her children did pass away (a few days after my intervention) Unfortunately I have come to the understanding that Satan is still set free to do as he pleases until the coming. After that..well nothing will be the same. At that point there will be peace. I am looking forward to that day.

Dawn said...

Hula Doula, I completely remember that story. Almost every detail. It haunts me. I remember reading it a few weeks after it happened. My baby who was 3 mos. at the time had just had RSV and been hospitalized for it and I remember reading about that poor, poor baby dressed in a onesie in the cold and crying for him and his brothers. It just broke my heart.

But you...You're simply an angel. I'm so sorry God didn't put you in that horrible woman's path sooner so you could have saved the baby. Maybe it was so she could end up in jail where she belongs and not hurt the other kids anymore. Who knows?

I was just thinking about those boys a day or two ago, in fact. I was wondering if the mother was ever prosecuted and if so, what happened. I'd love to hear what's going on and if you've stayed in touch with the other kids.

I hope they can find a home together.

Thanks for coming by my blog and leaving such helpful comments. And thanks for being a light in this often dark world.