Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Never Enough

After 10 years with us, our sweet kitty boy, Mao, has reached the end of his life. He's nearly blind. He has arthritis. He has a hyperthyroid condition, that despite treatment, has caused him to lose weight until he only weighs 5 1/2 pounds. He rarely seeks out affection. And, he has little control over his bodily functions.

At 10:30 a.m. today, I will take him to our vet who will then euthanize him.

I am so sad.

I know he's a cat. I understand that death is a natural part of the life cycle. I know he had a good life, at least the part of it he spent with us. He was 4 or 5 years old by the time he wandered up to our house and decided he wanted to stay.

I know all that. I know that it's cruel to keep him alive at this point.

But I will miss him. I'll miss the way it looked like he was smiling when he was sitting in my lap getting loved on. I'll miss his polite and silent meow when I was working in the kitchen and he wanted me to feed him. I'll miss seeing him curl up beside Brendan or go up to Cooper, our 65 lbs. German shepherd and sniff his nose.

He was the best cat I've ever known and I've had cats in my life since I came into this world. Okay. The tears are making it hard to write any more. You get the idea. I loved my cat. He's sick. I have to put him to sleep and it's not a fun or easy thing to do.

Goodbye, Mao. You were a good and true friend.


Suz said...

I know exactly how you feel. You know we had to have Muffy, The Coolest and Sassiest Pekingese Ever to Walk the Earth, put to sleep when she was 18 years old. Despite the fact that she lived long enough to earn the second title Strom Thurmond of Dogs, it was unbelievably hard to do it. I try not to think about it still, 5 years later, because I still tear up.

Dawn said...

Thanks. I thought of you because I knew you had been through this.

I feel better after having done it. The doctor told me the tumor between Mao's eyes was most likely advanced sinus cancer. He said we were definitely doing the right thing.

And he went so peacefully. He just fell asleep in my arms.

Jen aka Evilynmo said...

Ahh!! We had to put down Ben's cat 5 years ago, it was so sad. We still talk about him like he was a family member. I made a painting of him that hangs in our house. We loved our Sunny.

Feel better soon!

Suz said...

Oh yeah! Dave is always laughing at how often I talk about Muffy and say "she was the best dog EVAH, it is so sad you never met her!" I have 2-3 pictures of her (with me, of course) displayed around my place.

Jeremy said...

I'm sorry about Mao.

Then again, the Catholic in me wants to celebrate how fortunate Mao was to be part of your family and you were to be part of his.