Monday, April 23, 2007

Live Through This

Early Friday morning, the beautiful 2-month old daughter of one of my friends died of SIDS. Claire was one of the sweetest little babies I've ever known. The fourth child, third daughter, she was loved, not only by her parents, but by all of us who have had the opportunity to know her family. They're really an amazing family.

The entire weekend was awful for me. It was my 15th college reunion and even while I was with my college friends, catching up, laughing, smiling, talking, drinking, I felt like I might just collapse from the weight of this pain and my guilt at any moment.

How? Why? It doesn't matter. The death of a child always seems tragic. But a baby, so innocent and pure and healthy. There's no way to make sense of it, but I think it's just so incomprehensible that something like this could happen. And no one knows what to do with it. How to act or be, what to say. What can you say?

I feel guilty and angry and so, so, so sad for my friends.


Evilynmo said...

I wish I knew what to say. As a PP doula they train us to listen and empathize with families that suffer tragedy like this. And to remember the baby, to talk about her. I am so sorry for your friends and for you, what a terrible tragedy.

The Girl said...

Just be there for your friend. Nothing you say or do will make it better. You and your friend and all who knew this sweet spirit will have to grieve and it will each be in your own way and in your own time.

I always wonder how the world can go on when such a wonderful spirit is taken from the earth. It is normal to get angry.

Take your children in your arms and squeeze them, smell them and just hold on to them like you will never let go. This is the only thing I have ever found to comfort me during a time of loss.

I am so sorry you are experiencing this. Know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers as will Claire's family.

Rich | Championable said...

Lord almighty.

God bless, sister. I don't know what else to say.

Jeremy said...

Murray Attaway (& Guadalcanal Diary) used to sing:

"Life goes on forever,




No answers there, but it is reassuring, hopefully.

Praying for your friends and their daughter, J

A. said...

what a horrible tragedy. I'm so sorry for your friends and for you, too. What a terrible loss, of life, of hope. There is really nothing one can say to make it better. The loss of a child is the most difficult of losses. I will keep you all in my prayers.